This week in heat history …

I wrote a few days back about the amazing weather we’ve experienced this August. So while we were skimming the 1983 Heralds to get notes for our “looking back” feature, I noticed the headline, “Yep! Twas a record.”

Note: I did not write that headline.

The “record” they were talking about was the 105 degrees Sanford experienced on Aug. 22, 1983 (25 years ago). This came a day after a 98-degree Saturday and a 99-degree Friday. The 1983 heat wave broke records throughout the state and was to blame for a few heat-related deaths.

Back in 83, I was a 6-year-old still living in Ohio, and I remember that year, I had a swimming pool birthday party. I remember being mad and crying because one of the neighbor kids kept trying to dunk me everytime I got in. My cake was a Spider-Man theme.
Take THAT, memory loss!

Anyway, just thought I’d share. It makes me appreciate the current August even more, and it makes me further question global warming.
Take THAT, Al Gore!

Movie Review: Tropic Thunder

From the “trailers” that open the film to the dancing credits … I laughed.
For all its flaws — a few flat jokes, silly plot and a few wasted performances — Tropic Thunder is still the funniest movie I’ve seen this year.
And I’m only slightly amazed that Judd Apatow (the man behind Superbad, Pineapple Express, Knocked Up and just about every other successful comedy in the past three years) is nowhere to be seen in this one … at least not that I know of. Tropic Thunder succeeds with its parody of actors who take themselves too seriously.
In the spirit of The Three Amigos, Tropic Thunder is about five actors thrown into a real Vietnamese jungle facing real drug lords … only they think it’s all part of the plot.
Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller) is the star of the movie they’re making, and Speedman’s out to make up for a string of bad films (Scorcher 2 through 5 and Simple Jack) with a strong performance here. Therefore, he’s completely committed to the script, even when the other actors start to realize the cameras aren’t rolling.
Those “other actors” are led by Robert Downey Jr., who — outside of Heath Ledger, if he was alive — is having the best year imaginable in Hollywood. Downey’s Kirk Lazarus pokes fun at “serious” actors like Russell Crowe and Collin Farrell, and he’s so enamored into his role, he pigments his skin, dons a wig and changes his pupils to portray a 1970s blaxpoitation-era soldier for the war film.
Downey carries the movie and saves it at the times you think it’s going to bog down into plot.
Jack Black’s Jeff Portnoy is a heroin-obsessed comedian and star of “The Fatties, Fart 2″ … and maybe I’m just a huge fan of Black and expected more, but I thought his character was A) not that funny and B) not that necessary. Like I said, I expect more from Black, so maybe I’m biased.
Brandon T. Jackson is Alpa Chino (the name along pokes fun at the rap culture’s obsession with Scarface), a rapper who’s known for being a ladies man, but has his own issues with Downey’s portrayal of a black man and his own sexuality.
Apatow veteran Jay Baruchel is Kevin Sandusky, the only straight-laced actor of the bunch and a welcome level head amid the egos.
The movie works when it’s mericlessly attacking Hollywood — grilling agents, pointing out what’s really important to actors, blasting the rap industry. Plus, the cameos and bit roles played by some of Hollywood’s biggest names … a few who the film makes fun of, are great. I just won’t give up who’s in it … it’s part of the humor if you don’t know.

I’ve been to four movies this summer, and I think I’m 4-for-4 as far as having a good time. Tropic Thunder is Ben Stiller’s best work since Zoolander … and the funniest film this year.

Use of the word ‘retard’: I’ll comment on the theme of making fun of people with mental disabilities, only because I wrote a short article on Arc of Lee County’s objection to the film.
In Tropic Thunder, Ben Stiller’s character Tugg Speedman is out to make up for a role many thought was the worst movie ever — Simple Jack. In it, Speedman played a mentally slow country boy, complete with buck teeth, bowl cut and overalls.
There’s a part in the film where Speedman and Downey’s Lazarus discuss why the movie failed, and Lazarus explains it’s because Stiller “went full retard.” He points out that actors who succeeded playing people with disabilities — Tom Hanks in Forest Gump, Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man — played people who were socially slow, but they didn’t go full out. Actors like Sean Penn, who went “all the way” in “I am Sam,” didn’t fare quite so well. I’ll argue that Leo Dicaprio’s portrayal in “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape,” throws a wrench into that line of thinking, but oh well.
I think the groups have a right to be upset with the liberal use of the word “retard,” because it was unnecessary, and there’s a part in the film where Downey is offended by Alpa Chino’s use of the “N-word,” so you’d think the film makers would have realized they were doing the same thing.
It wasn’t enough to take away from the movie for me, but I do feel it was a bad choice … even if they were simply pointing out the success actors have for playing people with disabilities.

Yow for mayor?

A reader of this blog today pointed me toward this YouTube video that’s either a really long political advertisement or just a man pointing out unsightly problems in East Sanford.
What’s interesting is Randall Yow’s screen name, “yowformayor.”
Like the reader said, Hmmmmmm.

Giant drink

Ask people who know me best. I like a big drink.

As a tyke, I carried around a tin box of Nestle Quick with me at all times … partly because I like the tin, and partly because I loved a big glass of chocolate milk.

In high school, I brought the biggest bottle of Gatorade to baseball games … and I usually finished it by the third inning.

In college … well, let’s not get into what I drank in college, mmmkay?

These days, I’m a big fan of fountain drinks from the gas station, and today at the Kangaroo off Horner and U.S. 1, the biggest, most beautiful drink in the world caught my eye — “The Mega Chill.”
I got it today at 10 a.m., and it’s 2:30 now … I’m half way through it.

Not a bad $1.40 investment. Did I mention I’m wired?

The dog days?

It’s been a busy, busy Thursday for me … but I think I’d regret it if I didn’t mention the un-typically cool mid-August weather we’ve been having.
I wrote a few posts back how I’m getting ready for fall, and I’m even more psyched about it after the string of days with highs in the upper 70s, lower 80s and lows dipping into the 50s. Coming from Texas and Louisiana, where August was the absolute worst part of the year, it’s been a much welcome change.

North Carolina, you can add the August of 2008 as another reason I’m becoming a huge fan of yours.

Podcast: The Rant, Aug. 13

Well, you will no longer be able to get the podcast for The Rant on my blog … at least for the time being … because I want to get a better feel for how many people are listening.

INSTEAD, GO HERE FOR THE PODCAST
• The Rant’s Web Site or
• Our Facebook Page (be sure to become a fan).

Doing this allows me to get a better idea of how many people are listening. Putting it on several sites only muddles our count.

Security racks at Walmart*

I understand Walmart* (I think this is their new logo) is all about improving their loss prevention, but I have a beef with one of their new implementations that just doesn’t make any sense.

Feeling scruffy and in need of a shave the other day, I decided that the old blades on the Mach 3 weren’t doing the job anymore, so while my wife and I shopped for food the other day, we stopped by the pleasantries aisle (I think “toiletries” is an icky word) to get new razor blades. I went to grab a new 5-pack, and low and behold, I couldn’t get it off the rack.
I tried a few times before, like a lab monkey who’s been shocked a few times reaching for that scientific banana, I realized it wasn’t worth it. I then saw the sign that said, “Ask for assistance” for these products.
The razors, and a few other of the pricier items (ranging from $10 to $25) were on racks that locked … or security racks … and if you wanted your razor, you had to ask for somebody to come and get a key.
The whole process took 3-5 minutes until I finally got my razors, and I was off on my merry way.

But I got to thinking of just how idiotic these racks are. If I wanted to steal the razors, what was keeping me from just sticking them in my pocket AFTER they were pulled from the rack? I think this whole idea is absurd, and if you really wanted to keep people from stealing your razors, you’d either put them behind a case at the cash register OR you’d put some kind of alarm trigger on them.
Instead, I had to waste five minutes to get somebody to unlock the rack and hand it to me … then walk away. It’s exactly the same as if I were to have grabbed it myself.

My only explanation for the nonsense is they don’t want to sell razors to people who LOOK like they’d steal it. If that’s the case, good luck, Walmart*. Maybe it’s a safety issue, since razors are sort of considered weapons. If that’s the case, then what’s keeping the guy you’re handing the razor to from taking them out later and wreaking havoc? And if it’s to keep kids safe, then I would love to find the kid who can open one of those boxes … it took me a pair of scissors and cuss words to get mine open this week.

I did some research trying to find more information about the racks, and while I didn’t find them, I did find a few stories about razor blades being a hot item for thieves at Walmart*.
Again, these shelves don’t help. They just frustrate people like me.

I just had to get it off my chest.

Not an endorsement …

But anytime a local candidate embraces this thing we call the InterWeb, I’ll post it on this blog.
Lee County Board of Commissioner candidate Andre Knecht has a YouTube commercial out now.

Now, I’m a person who loves a poorly made local commercial, but I must say, Knecht’s political ad is not bad at all. I think he got to the point and did a good job. My one critique is he’s a little fidgety and, well, they misspell “commissioner” the first time it appears in the commercial.

But hey, I make mistakes, too. So I won’t point fingers.

Today’s new Herald

It’s only fitting that the changes in today’s Herald come exactly a year after our redesign. Like I say in today’s column on Page 3A, though, these changes came more out of necessity — we have moved our printing facilities to much more modern press.
The result: a larger paper, improved color capabilities and a few changes here and there. Click below to read my column and learn more about the changes. Below that, click the link to see a preview of our new Web site, which is set to launch officially next week.

Editor’s Note (10:36 a.m.): I’m looking at the paper now, and I’d say the only minor issue is darker photos … which is something we’ll definitely get to “fixin” today.

Click HERE to read Tuesday’s column.

Click HERE to see a preview of our new Web site.

The Shmolympics

I’m not the kind of guy who drops everything to watch the Olympics, but I must say — I’ve been somewhat intrigued by this year’s games.
Maybe I’m getting a kick out of the smog in Beijing, or perhaps I’m a closet synchronized diving fan … but for whatever reason, my wife and I have had the TV on NBC all weekend so far. In fact, little-miss-goes-to-bed-early stayed up to nearly midnight last night screaming for the U.S. relay swim team to win the gold — which they did.
“Take that, France!” I thought I heard her yell while I was nicely tucked under my covers in the other room.

The swimming part, for me, has been the most enjoyable to watch so far. I’m amazed at the speed these people are gliding through the water … and if I was able to trade my physique for any other’s … I’d trade it for a swimmer’s body (though I’ll be keeping my body hair, thank you).
The one event I did watch that I completely didn’t understand was the fencing (sabers). It’s one or two seconds of screaming, then a whistle … that’s it. It’s not like the sword fights from the swash-buckling films of long ago, and to me, that’s just disappointing.
I mean, sure, I’m glad we swept the medals in the women’s fencing, but it was kind of a bore. Maybe next Olympics we’ll have the technology to trade the sabers for lightsabers.
Then I’ll watch.

Feel free to agree, disagree or tell me what you’ve been watching. The eighth comment gets a U.S. Olympic volleyball signed by me.*

*- disclaimer: Volleyball is not a U.S. Olympic volleyball, nor does it exist.